2010年9月12日 星期日

[語彙][joke] 所謂的"新警察"梗是這樣用的

作者: rescueme (打假球沒雞雞) 看板: Gossiping
標題: Re: [問卦] 有打麻將犯法的八卦嗎
時間: Mon Sep  6 15:52:43 2010

※ 引述《phycheout (等待紅顏老)》之銘言:
: 好像說不能擺兩桌以上
: 兩桌以上就算是賭場
: 另外不只打麻將
: 我高中時候差點被抓過ㄧ次
: 和同學一起吃麥當勞的時候
: 無聊順便拿撲克牌起來玩
: 玩的正起勁的時候  旁邊有個客人跟我們說這裡不能玩牌
: 後來我們想想  他又不是店員
: 等店員來講的時候再收
: 理所當然的不理他繼續玩我們的
: 結果
: 他亮了證件說是警察

我們就看著他笑了笑問:「新警察吧?」

他非常驚訝問道:「你們怎麼知道我是新警察?」

我笑著說:「老警察看到賭博多半會包庇的啊。」



後來他摸摸鼻子坐著看我們玩撲克牌,

沒多久,一位用餐的顧客也過來拍拍他的背問:「新警察吧?」

他狐疑地問道:「你怎麼知道我是新警察?」

用餐的顧客道:「老警察包庇賭博一定要收錢的啊。」

於是那警察走向我們1人收了100元,才准我們繼續玩牌。



接著麥當當的店員也走過來問那警察:「您是新警察吧?」

警察無可奈何問:「你怎麼知道我是新警察?」

麥當當店員道:「警察包庇賭博一定要邊看別人賭,自己也在旁邊順便玩兩圈的啊!」

於是警察CALL了自己同期的另外3個新警察,在麥當當開了一桌麻將,自己也玩了起來。



突然間,有一個黑道小混混衝了進來,好像要尋仇,

沒幾秒後,找到麥當當的老闆後對他開了一槍,好像因為卡彈又衝回去車上換槍,

那4個新警察站了起來想做些什麼。


麥當當的老闆在血泊中氣若游絲問道:「你們是新警察吧?」

警察們大驚問道:「幹,你怎麼知道我們是新警察!?」

麥當當的老闆道:「老警察看到有人中槍,都是躲在桌子下面的。」

於是警察們很無奈躲在麥當當的桌子下面。


此時槍手回來了,看到躲在桌子下的警察們,大吃一驚問:「你們是新警察吧?」

警察們很怕被開槍,卻還是偷偷問道:「你怎麼知道我們是新警察?」

槍手聳聳肩道:「老警察剛開始躲桌子,之後還要趁機會躲進員工休息室,從裡面反鎖不讓老闆逃走才對。」


後來又有人走過去問道:「新警察吧?」

他們很驚訝問他怎麼知道他們是新警察,



















他回答:「幹,那麼多人過去問過了,你當我既聾且瞎啊!」












好啦,八卦就是,

不知道檢察官會不會以不作為的故意殺人罪起訴當初那幾個反鎖密室的人渣,

改過自新的小市民自己花錢蓋了一個密室,想逃命時卻被警察反鎖,

請問警察哪來的權利做這種雜碎事?



而警察固然面對生命危險也有逃命的權利,

然而與救助市民的義務衝突時,

是不是不能遽以無期待可能性阻卻殺人罪的責任?

--
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◆ From: 59.113.49.133
噓 dWoWb:.......                                                   09/06 15:53
噓 dearKK:慢走不送                                                 09/06 15:53
噓 a40312jp:幹 我竟然笑了                                          09/06 15:53
噓 oklp1415:可以噓了                                               09/06 15:54
→ star9999:我也笑了                                               09/06 15:54
推 vegafish:XD                                                     09/06 15:54
噓 bz660:用心...但是八卦呢                                         09/06 15:54
推 sanddkk:盛光束                                                  09/06 15:54
推 pippenjr:有笑有推                                               09/06 15:54
※ 編輯: rescueme        來自: 59.113.49.133        (09/06 15:58)
推 asiasssh:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                         09/06 15:55
推 a34567:超好笑可以轉joke了                                       09/06 15:55
噓 benka:男校                                                      09/06 15:56
推 DASHOCK:XDDDD是新耿                                             09/06 15:56
推 kevinying:我笑了                                                09/06 15:56
推 stero:...................                                       09/06 15:57
推 uioo:哈                                                         09/06 15:57
噓 daleleu:幹, 我竟然笑了                          XDDDDD還是要噓  09/06 15:57
推 a34567:這篇被刪真是太可惜了                                     09/06 15:57
推 openrobert:推"~"                                                09/06 15:58
→ belmontc:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                 09/06 15:58
推 clywin123:對不起 我笑了                                         09/06 15:58
※ clywin123:轉錄至看板 joke                                       09/06 15:59
推 ja781028:警察:「干林老X 都聽到了還問!」                       09/06 15:59
推 bauz520kimo:我以為我在JOKE,剛還出去看了一下                    09/06 15:59
推 hlyw0124:讚                                                     09/06 15:59
推 kimgordon:老梗 且是中國笑話改的                                 09/06 15:59
推 white75724:不錯  推一個                                         09/06 16:00
※ 編輯: rescueme        來自: 59.113.49.133        (09/06 16:00)
推 mankaro:既然你很努力擠出出一個八卦了 笑我也笑了 就推了        09/06 16:01
推 kany13031:這好笑                                                09/06 16:02
推 allenhung:有笑有推                                              09/06 16:03
推 gotohikaru:XDDDD                                                09/06 16:04
推 jeff21115:XDD                                                   09/06 16:06
推 bismarcp:XDDDDDDD                                               09/06 16:06
推 rik:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDd                                             09/06 16:07
推 ispy03532003:噓啥 這就是新警察的這個名詞的由來阿 只是內容不一   09/06 16:07
→ ispy03532003:樣而已                                             09/06 16:08
推 hinoi:好啦 有掛啦 不要刪啦                                      09/06 16:08
推 solonwu:Good                                                    09/06 16:08
推 DaHahn:                                                         09/06 16:10
推 tsioge:GOOD                                                     09/06 16:13
推 IQ120:有笑有推 哈哈                                             09/06 16:14
推 kamisun:軍人、警察跟國家是特別權力關係,在執行勤務時不可以用有  09/06 16:14
推 rem20020426:推XDDDDDD                                           09/06 16:15
推 PPTer:XDDDD                                                     09/06 16:15
推 painttt:100分!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!               09/06 16:15
→ kamisun:生命危險的緊急避難,不然戰爭時大家都逃兵了,綁匪抓人質  09/06 16:15
→ kamisun:時警察也可以拒絕攻堅,但是放假時就不知道通不通用了      09/06 16:16
→ rescueme:所以kami大大您也覺得要用殺人罪辦那幾位人渣警察大人了   09/06 16:16
→ rescueme:因為好像有人是執勤時過去的                             09/06 16:17
推 kurtc:其實很有梗XDDDD                                           09/06 16:18
→ kamisun:我只是以前有看過一點點特別權力關係的書而已              09/06 16:20
推 MarcLin:這是新警察小伍的梗                                      09/06 16:20
推 illreal:笑話跟法律都蠻有梗的 100分                              09/06 16:20
推 shinguji:超諷刺 XD                                              09/06 16:20
推 rex105:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                         09/06 16:21
推 LieTo:XD.                                                       09/06 16:22
推 Isoroku5566:100分...                                            09/06 16:24
推 yoqwqq:以前的JOKE梗 很威~                                       09/06 16:24
推 omena:其實滿好笑的                                              09/06 16:25
推 yulunyeh:顆顆                                                   09/06 16:25
推 dknymaster:XD                                                   09/06 16:26
推 MadStanley:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                               09/06 16:28
推 Malkovich:超棒的!                                               09/06 16:29
推 doggyking:我要推這篇 不過被劣退的機會很高 可以轉Joke嗎?        09/06 16:30
推 keisuke08:有笑有推                                              09/06 16:32
推 KuoHuiLo:XDD 好笑                                               09/06 16:36
推 abucat:有笑有推!XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                   09/06 16:37
推 riggt123:有笑有推                                               09/06 16:40
推 Eiichirou:XD                                                    09/06 16:40
推 RS512:  5這篇不准刪!!!                                          09/06 16:42
推 pfish9130:有時事 有法律 有joke 一定要補血啊                     09/06 16:42
推 MLVForgood:XDDDD                                                09/06 16:46
推 nogood86:                                                       09/06 16:48
推 JashiaN:哈哈哈 這篇太好笑了  幾爸婚                             09/06 16:48
推 tisen:時事梗XDD                                                 09/06 16:49
推 sheepxo:XDDDDDDDDD                                              09/06 16:49
推 Akenlen:蠻有創意的阿                                            09/06 16:54
推 ponguy:XD                                                       09/06 16:56
推 gawone:有笑有推                                                 09/06 16:57
噓 netsc:你是新警察嗎?                                             09/06 16:59
推 ThreeNG:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                         09/06 17:01
推 yung80111:XD                                                    09/06 17:01
推 yenian:別亂需啦~~ 這篇文章勝過很多文章了!!                      09/06 17:02
推 winniees:幾霸婚!!                                               09/06 17:02
推 Air24:XDDD  另推末段八卦                                        09/06 17:07
推 ethanols:改過自新的小市民...有酸到XD                            09/06 17:08
推 PALAPO:超有創意新警察                                           09/06 17:11
推 NDSLite:讚                                                      09/06 17:22
推 kioskyline:靠我笑了....                                         09/06 17:30
推 ss163500:有創意 不得不推                                        09/06 17:31
→ yochilde:結尾有點虛                                             09/06 17:37
推 aaking:太好笑啦~~而且反鎖的事是真實事件吧?                     09/06 17:42
→ insanebull:這個好笑XDD                                          09/06 17:46
推 a0000000000v:也太強了吧!!創意滿分了啦                           09/06 17:51
推 Aesti:靠  這是你的心路歷程對不對  XD                            09/06 18:02
推 BuzzStyle:XDDD                                                  09/06 18:03
推 DRAGON0324:滿分!                                                09/06 18:04
推 Navy96:push                                                     09/06 18:09
推 loveiseasy:XDD                                                  09/06 18:13
推 GYd99:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                           09/06 18:17
推 mgdesigner:有笑有推!XDXDXDXD                                   09/06 18:20
推 harlemk416:好笑XDDDDDDD                                         09/06 18:28
推 hius:100                                                        09/06 18:36
→ rocker0022:翁先生不知道幹了多少壞事 死只是剛好 報應還會接著來   09/06 18:39
推 kaku216:老耿有加時事                                            09/06 18:48
推 MOTO5566:好懷念的新警察阿XDDDD                                  09/06 19:09
推 goodboy98:前幾樓 沒幽默感嗎  認真魔人!?                 推!XD   09/06 19:24
推 moocow:XDDDDDDDDD                                               09/06 19:29
推 neofire:有職務在身的人,不管上不上班都沒辦法用緊急避難          09/06 19:33
→ rex740901:還滿好笑的                                            09/06 19:40
推 h25949:哈~有創意                                                09/06 19:41
推 myth0422:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                    09/06 19:48
推 Kamelie:XDDDDDDDDD                                              09/06 19:48
推 Knicks:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 老哽新用,綜合時事                   09/06 19:54
推 lefan:我笑了 XD                                                 09/06 20:03
噓 knightking:八卦就是我的2沒壞                                    09/06 20:14
推 y2k0738:滿好笑的,可是沒有法律常識                              09/06 20:17
推 CN091118:只能說超瞎的阿 XD                                      09/06 20:24
推 EV1L:XDDDDDDDDDDDD                                              09/06 20:30
推 DM1984:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                               09/06 20:37
推 BlackGuy:老梗新用ㄚ                                             09/06 20:38
推 forkc:XD                                                        09/06 20:45
推 YulinStar:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                   09/06 21:06
推 cross0619:XD                                                    09/06 21:07
推 deathdream:XD                                                   09/06 21:10
推 summerleaves:有創意                                             09/06 21:13
推 ilsr:XDDDDDDDDDDDDd                                             09/06 21:40
推 john2557:好啦                                                   09/06 22:12
推 sizumaru:千年老哏  全新詮釋                                     09/06 22:14
推 Elly:joke                                                       09/06 22:28
推 MurderKiller:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD                                     09/06 22:33
推 cyp001:有笑有推                                                 09/06 22:49
推 srtny:100分!                                                    09/06 22:49
推 easybaby:XDD                                                    09/06 23:05
推 a09116:水啦~                                                    09/06 23:12
推 zzxxzz:都是躲在桌子下面 XD                                      09/06 23:12
推 freshego:我笑了                                                 09/06 23:20
推 buddy1225:XD                                                    09/06 23:22
推 zc20703:其實滿好笑的                                            09/06 23:31
推 n64tw:xxd                                                       09/06 23:33
推 boddingtons:這是真實故事                                        09/06 23:34
推 cuteyy:有笑有推                                                 09/06 23:44
推 LuvA:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD     09/06 23:51
推 krosby:超好笑的啦 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD                 09/06 23:57
推 suewen:其實還蠻好笑的                                           09/06 23:58
推 pigwood408:幹我笑了XDDD                                         09/07 00:22
推 soeasylai:推  新警察老梗  還是好笑                              09/07 00:23
推 sickiam:好久沒看新警察文了                                      09/07 00:28
推 lee988325:千年老梗,再用一次。  原波,你讓我飛躍起來。          09/07 00:50
推 catnsky:老梗新用推 但反鎖無論如何不是不作為吧                   09/07 02:31
推 forbefor:我去了!!!!!                                            09/07 03:52
推 KingNothing:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  09/07 12:28
推 glofish:老梗妙用                                                09/07 13:02
推 colette:老梗妙文~~推                                            09/07 15:06
推 rosemallow:讚啦!!                                               09/07 18:09
推 Agamemnonk:純推看前幾樓噓很高興                                 09/07 21:23
推 lovewsc:滿分                                                    09/07 22:17
推 btogwx:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD   09/08 00:41
推 ricewine:有笑有推                                               09/08 00:50
推 Yie:XDDD                                                        09/08 08:28
推 oqq:X                                                           09/09 21:25
→ minbyminby:XD                                                   09/11 12:42

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